The Joy of the Lord 

“Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord.”‭‭Philemon‬ ‭1:20‬ ‭KJV‬‬
Praise the Lord everyone! Thank you for visiting! I know this is not a day that I usually post , but to make up for missing Thursday’s post I posted today. 

I want to talk about something that I have been going through lately and I am not sure who else is dealing with this issue but I hope that if you had a similar issue like mine please comment.

I noticed a while ago that I was going through a state of where I just did not care. I wanted to pack everything I owned and just leave. I wanted to be free from all the struggles that I was going through. I wanted to be free from all of my pain!  I noticed that I was slowly getting sad and started to feel lonely. And I am cautious to use the word depressed because God’s people cannot be depressed but oppressed. But I found myself wanting to leave all my friends and family. I stopped speaking to people and I stopped smiling and laughing. My zeal, fire and drive along with my joy was slowly starting to fade. 

I am not sure if it is a common thing that happens to God’s people, but I do remember scriptures of the saints getting attacked and criticized. It was not that people were attacking me, but I was attacking myself. I was using my own tongue to talk bad about myself. 

I used to have so much confidence, but I noticed that as soon as I started listening to others talk bad about themselves, I started talking bad about myself too.

Right now I am still going through this ,but I am not hopeless I know that God will bring me out of it! I will rejoice when trials come my way, because it will make me stronger. I now realize that it is not flesh in blood that I should worry about but the things which I cannot see. 

My flesh is my biggest enemy and I learned that from Aci2016 (apostolic camp international). I need to watch my thoughts, and my actions… 

I want to smile and rejoice like before but I am looking forward towards the new things that I will smile about..

“Be blessed, be BOLD, and don’t forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made!”